When a relationship ends, it can be hard to deal with all of the mixed emotions that you may have. You may feel angry at your ex for breaking up with you or even guilty about hurting him in return. There are also feelings of relief and excitement about moving on with your life that can make it difficult to focus on anything else.
But despite your new freedom, there is still one thing gnawing at the back of your head: Why do I still miss him? What should you do when you miss him after a breakup? Is this normal? How long will these feelings last?
The answer depends on many things, including how close you were before the breakup happened, what caused the break-up, and why you are still missing him now.
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Why Do I Still Miss Him?
Suppose you are missing your ex-boyfriend and wondering why it may feel like something is wrong with you. After all, if the breakup was mutual, why did you not just let go after things were resolved?
This is easy to understand since we are told from a young age that good relationships have beginnings and endings while bad ones linger on forever. We also tend to think of losses as permanent while our gains are fleeting. As long as we still have things in common (like memories) with our past partners, then it’s perfectly normal for us to miss them -even when they’re already gone from our lives.
As a relationship therapist, I’ve worked with many people who have experienced a painful breakup. Some are still reeling from the shock of whether their significant others would leave them, while others were already thinking about how they would go on without them in their lives.
However, some are having a hard time letting go even though the relationship ended amicably. They miss him and can’t seem to let go because they believe that it is simply “supposed” to hurt this much when someone leaves you.
For these people, it’s important to understand why do I still miss him after a breakup? It may not be just about missing him but also about needing closure or reassurance from your ex-boyfriend that he is doing fine. Humans are highly social creatures who need confirmation that they are valued and cared for, especially when the relationship is coming to an end.
In some cases, the feelings of missing your ex-boyfriend can be overwhelming or make you feel depressed. This will happen if you have been reflecting on the relationship recently because it ended with many unresolved issues and unanswered questions, which may cloud your feelings about moving on. It’s not surprising that most people find themselves asking why do I still miss him? after a breakup from someone who has caused them pain before.
The good news is that you can do things to lessen these feelings as quickly as possible and put yourself back on the path towards healing and moving forward with your life.
What To Do When You Miss Him After A Breakup?
If you wonder what to do when you miss him after a breakup, no matter how long the relationship lasted or how difficult it was for you to walk away from him, read on. If your ex-boyfriend is constantly in your thoughts and dreams, then there is a chance that you still love him.
You can be sure to know if you still have feelings for him by getting out of your head and looking at the situation objectively. If you have been spending a lot of time thinking about what will happen when he returns home or whether he’s going to call you, then it’s time to stop that train of thought and focus on something else.
There are also other things that you can do to help yourself move forward once more and finally get over this difficult period in your life:
1) Accept That The Relationship Is Over
The most important thing is that you realize that there is no way for the two of you to reconcile whatever happened during your relationship, even if both of you want it. Not only should this make it easier for you to move on, but you should also know that it will be a lot easier to forget about him and look for other sources of happiness after you come to terms with the fact that he’s out of your life.
Instead of thinking about all the good times, you had together or how you wish things never ended up this way, take a step back and see what went wrong in the first place. If something didn’t feel right then, there was probably a reason why you knew deep down inside that it wouldn’t last. Don’t dwell too much on the past because if there was something wrong, it’s best to let go now rather than wait for another chance only to surface those same problems again.
2) Give Yourself Time To Heal
You will have no choice but to take time and focus on yourself because there is so much going on inside your head that you need to sort out. If this means isolating yourself from friends and family, then you should do it. You can’t expect them to know what you feel or what obstacles you are facing in getting over your ex-boyfriend; only those who have experienced missing someone they loved can understand how hard it is for you right now.
Don’t think of this as a sign of weakness or something that makes you weak. It takes courage to admit that something went wrong during the relationship, and despite whatever happened, staying with him will not help make either one of your lives happier.
3) Find New Ways To Feel Good About Yourself
When you are constantly thinking about your ex, then it’s impossible to do anything else. It may seem like a good idea to think that you’ll be able to find happiness in him again, but this is not so, and the longer you spend time with him, the more difficult it will be for both of you when he goes away once more.
You need to question yourself now on what went wrong during the relationship and why things didn’t work out despite how much love you had for one another. Maybe certain problems cropped up along the way, or maybe something about your personalities clashed. Whatever it was, if it wasn’t working, then don’t feel bad about moving on because the chances are that he wouldn’t have stayed either if he had the chance.
4) Talk To Someone You Trust About It
If you feel lost, alone, and frustrated with what happened, finding someone who can listen to your doubts would be a good idea. I’m not saying that you have to spill the beans about everything or reveal how you really feel; all that matters is that someone will hold your hand through this process because it’s hard for anyone to go through alone.
5) Study Yourself For A Change
Get rid of those photos and get out of your room so you won’t have any more reason to think about him. If he was on your mind all the time, then try spending time with family members so they can help occupy your thoughts instead of him. Focus on something that will improve your life in the future or something that you enjoy doing so you get to experience once more how it feels to be happy.
6) Take Care Of Your Appearance
Don’t think of this as a sign of weakness but instead as a way to look and feel better about yourself. He may not have given a second glance when he saw you last time because of how grossed out he was; if this is what’s on his mind, then there is no point in wasting any more time thinking about him. You made the decision not only for your sake but also for his, so stop dwelling on the past and move forward once more without looking back.
7) Keep Busy And Stay Active As Much As Possible
You can’t hold yourself together if you are sitting in bed crying all day, every day. You have to learn how to get out there and take that first step towards moving on. It won’t be easy to do at first, but with time, it will become easier as you start feeling better about your life again.
8) Throw A Party And Invite The Friends Who Always Help You Move On
It’s not enough that you study why the relationship didn’t work out in the first place. Once you realize why to move forward with that newfound knowledge because there is no point in getting stuck at a certain part of your past when it’s already too late for anything else to happen.
9) Don’t Stop Meeting New People Because Of Him
He is not the future, and he does not have to be a part of your life for things to get easier. You may have experienced love before, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find it again in someone else or even with yourself.
10) Get Your Life Back On Track
No matter how much time has passed since he broke up with you, it’s still important that you take care of yourself first before thinking about him because if there was something wrong during the relationship, then don’t repeat those mistakes once more. Accept that this happened to you now, so think of new ways to deal with all these emotions; being happy and loving someone is two different things that mean moving on isn’t as difficult as some people think it is.
11) You Will Never Be The Same Person Again
You will learn that falling in love can be painful at the same time. Still, it’s also one of the most beautiful things you will ever experience, so if he wasn’t ready for something that deep with you, then don’t give up on your quest to find someone who will appreciate your other qualities as well. Someone else is sure to come along and sweep you off your feet once more because, remember, we are only human after all.
12) Life Is Not Worth Living If You Are Still In Love With Him
Wake up every morning with a smile and ask yourself, “what can I do today to make my life better?” Would you please not hold on to the past or stop yourself from being happy once more because it will only bring you pain? Start looking forward instead of always thinking about what happened in the past, no matter how much you miss him.
13) Learn From Your Mistakes And Move On Once More
If your relationship failed, then don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not the end of everything at all; in fact, this is just one way for you to learn more about yourself as well as others around you, so consider this as another stepping stone in your life.
14) Be Careful When It Comes To Letting Him Know How You Feel
If you want to let him go for good, then don’t do anything that will only remind him of you once more because it’s not worth the effort at all. Don’t think about meeting up with other people if you are still hung up on previous relationship problems because, in the end, this is still a waste of time and effort.
15) He Is Not Worth The Tears That You Will Shed Over Him
You deserve so much better than going through pain like this over someone who does not feel the same way as you do for them. If he were meant to be yours, then he would have never left in the first place, or at the very least, he would have tried to make things work out differently.
16) Change Those Times And Save Yourself From Future Disappointment
There is no point in going back to something that did not work for you at first, so if this relationship didn’t work, then don’t think about it anymore because there are other people who will be more than willing to get their love life on track once more after getting hurt before. Let go of your past and keep moving towards brighter days ahead; try to find someone new to spend time with or get yourself busy with your career instead of worrying about what happened before. Remember that time heals all wounds, so give yourself a chance to heal from any sadness from the past as this way, you will have a better chance to find true love once more. Remember that there’s something better waiting for you in the future if you just let go of your past problems and learn from them instead of keeping all those bad memories inside you.
17) If You Won’t Forget Him, Then You Will Never Get Over This Pain
Wake up every morning with a smile and ask yourself, “what can I do today to make my life better?” Would you please not hold on to the past or stop yourself from being happy once more because it will only bring you pain? Start looking forward instead of always thinking about what happened in the past, no matter how much you miss him. In fact, if he was not meant to be yours, then he will not keep popping up in your head every single day.
18) Forget About Him And Move On For Good
You can’t bring back the good old days, so it’s useless to dwell on what could have been better because this way, you are only hurting yourself more and more instead of being happy once more. Learn from what happened in the past, and don’t let it get the best of you. Everything happens for a reason, so don’t bother asking why because there was no other way this could have worked out in the first place.
19) You Will Never Be Completely Happy If You Still Think About Him Every Day
If he is really meant to be yours, then destiny will bring him right back into your life again, so try not to focus on what happened in the past at all, as this can only bring you pain and sadness instead of happiness. Forget about him and move towards something that works better; don’t hold on to anything from your past problems if you want to get over them once more.
20) It’s Time To Let Go Of The Past And Move Forward In Your Life
You will never be able to move on with your life until you let go of your past problems once and for all. Would you please not bring up the past because it’s useless to talk about something that didn’t work out in the first place instead of ending up like this? Forget about him and start living again; try to find someone new to spend time with or concentrate more on your career so you can have a better future ahead instead of wallowing over what already happened before. Enjoy every moment you have right now while trying not to think too much about everything that happened in the past because this only brings pain and sadness instead of happiness in your life. Remember that there is no use crying over spilled milk. Stop wasting your time thinking about him and start enjoying what’s left of your life instead.
21) Don’t Waste Another Minute Thinking About Someone Who Did Not Appreciate Having You In His Life
There are so many other people out there who would love to have someone like you in their lives, someone who will treat you right and make sure that you’re as happy as possible. Stop wasting time thinking about someone who did not appreciate having you by his side; don’t think about a past love because it will only bring pain and sadness all over again. Learn from this experience and try to forget the things he did wrong or didn’t do for you at all, instead of holding on to those painful memories forever.
22) If He Makes You Happy, Then You Will Never Miss Him
Being happy with him was the best thing that happened to you in your life, and there’s no need to think about anything else because loving him once more will never happen again. He is not worth missing once you already have someone who appreciates having you by his side instead of hurting you every single day. Enjoy what he gave to you while forgetting about everything that went wrong between you two in the first place; don’t dwell on a past relationship if it didn’t work out for some reason, and find someone new who can support and love you as much as possible.
23) Make A Promise To Yourself Not To Think About Him Again, And You’ll Find Out How Easy It Can Be
If he made you smile, then promise yourself not to think about him, and you’ll see how easy it is to get over him once more. If he made you happy, stop thinking about him and enjoy being with someone who has the same kind of feelings for you; don’t waste time thinking about a past relationship because there is no use in dwelling on such painful memories.
24) Letting Go And Moving On Is Easier Said Than Done
Letting go and moving on is easier said than done, but if he made you laugh or smile, then there’s no need to think about him ever again because feeling happy will never happen for as long as you keep thinking about someone from your past. If you keep thinking about that person, you cannot move forward, so try your best not to bring up something that happened in the past because life will never go back to what it was before. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap again, as this can only make things worse for you instead of better, instead of making you feel happy about who you are right now.
25) Forget About Your Past, And Nobody Can Ever Make You Feel Sad Or Unhappy Again
He can never make you cry over the dumb things that happened between you two, and this only shows that whatever feelings left in the beginning have already gone away completely. If he did something wrong to hurt your feelings, then forget what he did and find someone else who will appreciate having a great time with, instead of hurting his girlfriend every single day in every single way. He can never make you happy again, so stop thinking about him altogether and enjoy your life instead, not someone who only makes you feel sad in the end.
26) Find Someone Who Is Right For You And Make Sure That Everything Happening Now Will Be Much Better Than In The Past
Instead of remembering everything that happened before, why not find someone new who is right for you? It doesn’t matter what happened in the past because love will always grow as long as both parties are honest with each other from day one on. Don’t keep yourself stuck in the past because there’s no use for doing this; instead, look towards a future where love might happen to you once more, but this time it will be different than when he was still around.
Love is one of the greatest feelings that exist, and it can help people move forward in life instead of being stuck in the past forever. You cannot memorize every detail, so don’t try doing this and let yourself move forward for once; forget about what happened between you two because there’s no use in thinking about him forever and ever again! If he made you laugh, then find someone who will bring joy into your life as well, don’t keep thinking about him because doing this won’t make you happy for a long time period. He can make you smile once more but only if you promise yourself not to do this anymore, instead find someone new who will bring joy into your life and make everything better than it was before. Love yourself more than anything else in the world because who knows what to expect next, instead of dwelling on a past relationship that didn’t work out as expected.