Why can’t I stop thinking about my ex? Why do I keep going over and over the way things ended with my ex?
What is wrong with me!?!
All of these questions go through your head when you break up after a long relationship. You wonder why you cannot let go of the past and get rid of negative thoughts about an ex. It is important not to get stuck on one person because they are so “important” to you that it cripples your life. If this situation applies to you, read on to tell you how to get over an ex fast.
One common thought in our society is that if someone hurts us, we should not trust them again. This seems like a very natural mechanism that is employed for self-preservation. But trust also takes time to develop, and it is impossible to build a healthy relationship if both parties do not trust each other.
We instantly think we can never love again, that there will never be another person that we can trust when someone hurts us. This happens because the pain of breakups or failed relationships is usually tough to manage and overcome. For this reason, along with many other factors, we all wish to know how to get over an ex fast because we cannot seem to move on from the past. It becomes our driving force in life!
When your mind does not have anything else going on, it focuses on the negative things and makes them worse than they are. This is just a means of self-preservation in our minds, to make us feel better and not think about something that could destroy us emotionally. It is normal to lose focus for a little while when you break up with your ex. But if this goes on for weeks or months, you need our help!
We know how it feels to love someone who does not love you back. And we all want quick ways to get over an ex, so let’s share some tips to help you stop obsessing over the past and move on with life!
Have you been dumped? Been left to pick up the pieces and move on? I know it’s hard, but there are ways to deal with it. The best way is not to go back to your ex, even if they want you back. Instead of doing that, here are some effective ways for you to get over your ex in 2 or 3 days! It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it!
Here are my steps:
1) Take a break from social media. That means no Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram updates about how wonderful life is without your ex, no matter how tempted you are to do so!!! It would be best if you had time away from any reminders of what used to be.
2) Stay busy. This helps you to take your mind off things, which is a great way to relax. Sleeping also helps, but in case you need something else to do while you’re awake!
3) Try keeping an exercise journal. You have so many frustrations built up inside that you need to get them out. Exercise is good for relieving bad energy and making happy thoughts come into your life instead.
4) Eat properly. It may not be easy with your ex gone, but eating healthy will help you feel better about yourself and bring some of the excitement factors back into your life! So no more late-night junk food binges!!!
5) Listen to music that makes you feel good. You may find that some of your ex’s favorite songs are sadder than you’d like, so try and replace them with upbeat tunes!
6) Try a new look. Spice up your life by trying out something different; an all-black ensemble, or new clothes, or even dying your hair! Heck, why not do all three at once?! Whatever floats your boat.
7) Watch a good comedy. Laughing heals the soul!!! Especially if it’s at someone else’s expense (but don’t be too mean)! The point is to relax and have fun again!
8) If you have been looking for inspiration in other areas of life. Now is the time to get it!!! Cherish these moments. Your love life may need to wait, but you can still find fulfillment in other areas of your life!
9) Remember that it’s not easy to get over someone, so be patient with yourself and give it time.
10) Don’t be mean to yourself. It’s important to remember that you are doing this for YOURSELF… Not your ex or anyone else, including me!
11) Try writing in a journal. This helps you get things off your chest by just dumping it all onto paper. Once again, don’t be mean to yourself!
12) Don’t do anything rash!!! That means don’t cut yourself or start binge drinking (I know that sounds like a fabulous idea right now but trust me, you’ll regret it the following day!!!) Also, avoid doing anything with your ex thinking it’s a good idea at the time only to regret it later on down the line.
13) You need to take things day by day. Don’t make any life-changing decisions until you are genuinely ready. That means quitting your job, moving cities, or even breaking up with someone new!
14) Remember the good times you had together and focus on where you’d like things to go in the future! That way, instead of focusing on what was lost, you can look forward to getting something better!!!
15) Remember that it’s vital for you to be happy. So don’t let anyone (including your ex) ruin that, at least while you are going through this process!
16) Try not to think about what’s gone wrong. Think more about moving forward and enjoying the things you have now instead of worrying about how much better things used to be in the past. Of course, if there is anything specific about the breakup that bothers you, make a list and see if you can do anything to solve these problems. Otherwise, focus on looking to the future with excitement!
17) Be patient!!! Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your new happiness be. You’ll get there, though; I promise!!! Stay strong!
18) Remember that no matter how bad you feel, most relationships do not last forever. It may be hard to remember now, but wait five or ten years from now and see what happens!!! Maybe it’ll all seem like a dream. Or perhaps you’ll find out the truth!! Either way, time is your best friend when it comes to healing!
19) Do something nice for yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to something small, but make sure it’s something meaningful and fun! You deserve it after all you have been through!!!
20) Keep your eyes on the prize! Focus on doing things that will bring you happiness over the long run instead of short-term satisfaction. As cliche as this sounds, the truth is that time heals all wounds. The more you do to help life return to normal, the less you’ll care about your ex, and the faster this process will go!
21) Remember: it’s not easy getting over someone. But if you are patient and strong enough, I promise that you WILL get there!!! It won’t be easy at first, but in time things will get better. Make sure you have a good support system of friends/family while doing this so that they can talk some sense into you if necessary. And most importantly of all: REMEMBER TO BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF!! You’re superhuman for surviving this long with your feelings hurt! Take as much time as you need to feel whole again. And when you’re happy, make sure to share your new happiness with others! After all, YOU deserve to be happy.
22) Don’t get too caught up in the details. You don’t need to know every single reason why this happened or how you feel about it. When you focus on the details, you’ll only get sucked into a depressive state of mind! Focus instead on figuring out what’s important and then taking action as necessary!
23) Remember that if you fall back into old habits like stalking social media accounts or calling them late at night (to talk), make sure you cut these things OUT ASAP!! The last thing you want is to go backward and end up hurting yourself even worse because of those actions. So focus on moving forward instead of looking back!
24) Don’t make rash decisions. Things may not seem like they will work out anymore, but that doesn’t mean you should jump at the first opportunity you find! Take some time to figure out what makes sense for you in the long run! It might be worth it down the line to put off your happiness today if it means a greater chance at true happiness later on down the road!!!
25) Remind yourself that life is funny and unpredictable. This way of thinking is an important mental tool for helping us get through tough times like breakups!! We don’t know everything, and we shouldn’t presume we do. Instead, let things happen with a smile on your face and your mind open to possibilities!
26) When you feel bad, remember that it will get better. You might think that the pain will always be there, but I promise that life does go on! There are still lots of great things out there for you to enjoy. Just continue to focus on those things while you’re healing, and everything will work out!!!
27) Remind yourself that you are strong enough to make it through this. If someone else can do it (i.e., your ex), then so can you!! And if they didn’t make it, then perhaps something was wrong in how they handled the breakup. Please don’t go down the same path, though; instead, use what worked for them as a learning experience for yourself!
28) Write down how you feel. This is a great way to work through your feelings and even keep others in mind if you’re the hurt party! Use this as a coping mechanism that will help you get through this tough time.
29) Be smart, silly, or whatever else feels natural! Don’t force yourself to be someone you’re not or lock up all of your emotions. Open and share them with people who care about you and want to support you during your difficult time!!!
30) Remember that many of the negative feelings from breakups mainly require us to face our mortality. We temporarily lose what we consider security (that which makes life predictable). Think about it: when things don’t make sense anymore, it’s easy to feel scared and even act out in strange ways!!! When we think this way, we must realize that life will always be a series of unpredictable ups and downs (in every sense).
31) Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Remind yourself that as long as you do what makes sense for YOU, then you’re not going against anyone’s wishes… Only when you stop waiting for others, approval or permission will you truly find the self-confidence needed to move forward with your life!
32) Realize why things ended so that you can learn from them. You don’t want to go through heartbreak again, do you? If so, then keep doing things the way they were. But if you want a better life, you need to figure out why things ended and learn from the mistakes or shortcomings that led to them ending!!!
33) Keep calm and carry on! The only way to keep moving forward is by being optimistic. So focus on how promising your future can be if you stay positive and do what makes sense for you!!!
34) Remind yourself that this too shall pass. Count backward from ten and remember that one day this will all be over. Shortly after, it feels like an eternity away (as though it might never end). Six months down the road, you’ll wonder where all the time has gone. Fast forward twenty years later into your old age, and even looking back at memories of heartbreak will bring a small smile to your face!
35) Do something that reminds you of the bad memories. This might be the hardest step for some people, but it’s the only way to keep moving forward. If you can find a constructive outlet in your anger, then make sure and use it!!! Find someone who cares enough about you to help you get through this rough time in your life! You’ll thank them someday!!
36) Remind yourself that things won’t always be like this. While I’m not guaranteeing that all heartache will end when this moment does (after all, even after years of recovery, sometimes heartbreak can rear its ugly head), there is no question that most people at some point down the road do find peace. But for most of us, the first six months are the toughest!!! Stay strong and keep moving forward!
37) Finally, it’s always a good idea to get in touch with your inner child. Show them what life is like now and how everything has changed. Remind yourself that this trip down memory lane was only meant to teach you a lesson: instead of letting things from long ago hold you back, let them help guide you into making different choices today. Without any regrets! Remember that regardless of age, if we can’t learn from our past, we’re doomed to repeat it!! So put your lessons into action and start living a better life!!!
Even though a breakup is hard, it’s important to remember that this experience is exactly what you needed to see your life with new eyes. Love didn’t fail you; YOU failed love. Instead of believing you’re unlovable (or that the entire world has turned against you), realize that this event was just a fluke!!! And even if your ex leaves again (pursuing their happiness despite any protestations from the outside). More often than not, they’ll end up back where they started: next to someone who does care about them!!! So whenever things get tough do as I do and take comfort in knowing that no matter how bad it gets, I know there will always be one unbreakable rule at work in this universe:
As long as we let go of the people who don’t do what makes sense for us, then there’s always someone waiting in the wings to love us for who we ARE!!!