Stalking your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is the most cutting thing that can happen to you in a relationship. It’s like the ultimate betrayal when someone who was supposed to love you with all of their heart becomes someone that doesn’t stop following you, calling you, and doing whatever it takes to get into your life again. It’s the kind of situation that can cause you to lose sleep, affect your performance at work, and even cause physical illness. It does have a way of sucking all of the happiness out of your life when you’re stuck with a stalker ex who won’t get off your back and leave you alone.
One thing that almost everyone has in common is they want their ex back in their life again. But what happens when after exhausting yourself trying to get them back into your arms again, it doesn’t happen? All those sleepless nights thinking about how much better everything will be once they call or text to say hi or I love you, only for nothing to ever happen. Once this realization sets in, it’s time to start looking at doing whatever it takes to put the past behind you and start enjoying your life again. It’s time to stop stalking your ex and move on.
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Warning Signs That You’re Stalking Your Ex
1. You spend most of the day thinking about your ex. Yes, you think about them a lot, but you’ve crossed the line from the feeling of them as an occasional thought to being all-consuming in your mind. When you’re not busy thinking of how awesome it would be if they called or texted, you can find yourself obsessing over where they may be or what they may be doing. It’s time to get into a healthier mindset when it comes to your ex.
2. You spy on them. This is a pretty horrible thing to do. You’re probably already aware that it isn’t right, BUT… somehow, when you feel like they are slipping away from you or like there is any chance of getting them back, this becomes something you will stoop to doing in a heartbeat (even if you know how wrong it is). There’s nothing more damaging than being able to freely watch someone else go about their daily life after they’ve decided they no longer want anything to do with you. It may be the ultimate high when everything works according to your plan, and they change their mind about moving on without you. But the crash that comes after is going to be devastating if you happen to get caught. It’s just not worth it, but for a significant number of reasons, you may already know that.
3. You follow them around on social networking sites. If you are tempted to click that button every time they “check-in” somewhere or take a photo of their life without you, it’s time to stop yourself. It’s only going to make things worse than they already are.
4. You may consider hurting them physically or emotionally over the way your relationship ended and how easily they were able to move on from you when you think about it. This mindset will lead to doing something that can get you locked up for a very long time if not brought under control quickly, so the best thing would be to stay away from the situation altogether until there is nothing left but healing between both sides; involved in this breakup.
5. Your obsession with them (regardless of whether they are a good person or not) is only going to hurt you. The more time that goes on, the worse it will be when you’re still hung up on them and what could have been if things had turned out differently.
What YOU Can Do To Stop Stalking Your Ex: 5 Tips That Work
1. Stop checking their social networking status updates or photos. Yes, you’ve been programmed to do this. It’s hard not to because the whole reason for stalking them in the first place was so you could know what they were up to without having to keep tabs on them. But if you are doing this because you feel like stalking, obsessing over what they’re doing with another person will hurt your chances of getting over them and moving on someday.
2. Be honest with yourself when it comes to why you want them back. It’s easy to fall into the trap of just wanting someone in your life again regardless of how good a relationship may have been at one time or whether things will ever work out between the two of you again. It’s important to take a long hard look at the reality of certain situations and ask yourself whether or not it’s worth your time and energy to pursue them. If they’ve moved on from you, there is no way to get back what you had together, so why keep trying?
3. Let go when necessary. This may sound easier said than done, but if you do this now, there will be fewer opportunities for hurt feelings every time their Facebook page gets updated unexpectedly because they’ve started seeing someone new. Try to remember how good of a person they are/were to help with these tough decisions that have been plaguing your thought process lately and make sure that you allow yourself space to heal without pushing too hard to get them back when you’re just not ready yet.
4. Stop hanging out with the same friends who have been encouraging you to go after this person even though they’ve moved on. This is a good time for you to break ties with anyone who has only brought negative influences into your life, so make sure you take the appropriate steps to do this. Those closest to you throughout this process must be people who will be there for you and encourage positive change, so if any of these people have made stalking your ex a common practice, then maybe it’s time for a clean break; from each other anyways!
5. Consider contacting an online therapist or counselor before things start getting out of control. Yes, some people will listen to you vent about your ex-lover’s new relationship and even give you their professional advice on how to handle the situation without actually having to get involved in it. The best option for this stalking problem that could hinder your ability to move on from an old relationship is to learn how to put yourself first to find a way to remain healthy despite any negativity that may be causing distress in your life at the moment.
How You Can Stop Stalking Your Ex Effectively
Stalking your ex can be a way to keep the flame alive in hopes that if you harass them enough, then they may realize the error of their ways and take you back. It’s often problematic for people who are not familiar with this concept to understand why on earth anyone would want an ex-lover who does not seem interested in returning. The truth is that it’s straightforward when emotions get involved in any relationship, no matter how short-lived or insignificant this one was, so don’t judge yourself too harshly just yet as there is help available should you need it.
1. Try to block him out entirely by cleaning up all traces of his name online. This will eliminate most of the opportunities for seeing comments by mutual friends about their new relationship or pictures of them two together that may be shared on Facebook. You’ll also want to unfollow any Twitter feeds, Google+ pages, and news sources that post the details of people’s personal lives to avoid unnecessary stress from thinking about them when you’re not even sure why you’re still obsessed!
2. Do something extra special for yourself every time they pop into your head. This can be as simple as treating yourself to a massage if you can afford it, or maybe you can treat yourself to an evening out with the girls at the beauty salon while getting your nails done. Whatever works best for your schedule is what matters most because this will help you reach a new level of confidence while still allowing you to feel like the attractive person you are inside.
3. Think about all of the things that attracted you to this person in the first place. Would you please make a list of positive attributes and qualities that made them so special when you were dating? Now use this list to help jump-start your confidence while focusing on these specific traits rather than any negative ones they exhibited during the relationship.
4. Attempt to stop stalking your ex by scheduling positive activities for yourself. This will make it easier for you to get excited about being out with friends instead of sitting home alone every weekend night watching reruns of “Friends” over and over again until it makes you want to throw up! Yes, some people know how to balance their time between working hard at their careers while still having enough time to party with friends and family when they are free. This is the kind of balance you may need to feel better about yourself, so give it a try!
5. Consider contacting an online therapist or counselor before things start getting out of control. Yes, some people will listen to you vent about your ex-lover’s new relationship and even give your professional advice on how to handle this situation without actually having to get involved in it. The best option for dealing with this stalking problem that could hinder your ability to move on from an old relationship is to learn how to put yourself first to find a way to remain healthy despite any negativity that may be causing distress in your life moment.
Stalking is a serious issue for some people. Still, it’s also something that can be dealt with effectively using the right advice, which should help you control your actions before they consume your life entirely in ways you never imagined. Overall, this type of obsessive behavior won’t make anyone happy – least of all yourself — so please try to put these inappropriate actions behind you by following these guidelines. Hopefully, everything will work out as planned…