It’s not easy to let go of someone you love, especially when you feel like it will never end. And if that relationship is toxic, filled with pain and suffering, it can be hard to do. But what if both parties are willing to move on? What then?
Let’s say you have been agonizing over the idea of leaving someone in your life: a long-term relationship (maybe even marriage), perhaps a friendship that has gone sour, or simply a difficult family member who seems impossible to pry free from your life. You know you need to leave the situation, but fear holds you back. The thought of letting go brings up anxiety, panic, and stress – sometimes so severe that just the idea makes your stomach churn and your heart sink.
How do you stop the madness? How can you let go of someone you love so much when it feels like a part of yourself is slowly being destroyed in the process?
It’s not easy to say goodbye to someone or something that has so deeply affected your life, but if staying on will only cause more pain for yourself or others, here are a few tips to help get through what may be one of the hardest things you have ever had to endure:
Table of Contents
- 1 Allow Yourself To Grieve The Loss Of Something You Cherish
- 2 Recognize And Accept The Reality Of The Situation
- 3 Find Strength In The Support Of Others
- 4 Do Whatever It Takes To Help You Forget Your Pain
- 5 Know That It’s Okay For You To Feel This Pain
- 6 Treat Yourself Like That Special Someone You Let Go Of
- 7 Remember: Everyone Has A Story They Are Carrying With Them
- 8 Take Charge Of Your Own Life And Make Yourself Happy
- 9 Conclusion
Allow Yourself To Grieve The Loss Of Something You Cherish
Step number one is letting go. And to do that, you will have to come to terms with the loss of this person or thing from your life. These are things and people we associate with happiness and love, so it only seems right and fair for us to grieve the eventual loss of them.
Grief is a normal part of our healing process after losing someone or something significant in our lives, and sometimes it can be overpowering. Still, there are certain steps you can take to help make the grieving process as bearable as possible:
- Allow yourself time alone to cry whenever you need it (this is not weird)
- Reach out to friends, family, or other loved ones for support and comfort
- Focus on yourself – do the things that make you happy (go to yoga, read a book, watch your favorite TV show)
- Take care of yourself – eat right and exercise regularly
Recognize And Accept The Reality Of The Situation
People are messy creatures. We all have our issues and struggles, and sometimes these issues get so out of hand that we can no longer deny their existence. Sometimes things really do end, whether or not we want them to. To truly let go, you have to accept that it’s over. You cannot dwell in the past or wish things to be different because they are not and never will be. To fully release someone you love from your life, you need to be willing to accept this reality – no matter how painful it may be for you – because anything less will only prolong the process. Your only choices are to either find peace with this realization or continue your mental anguish until you finally do come to terms with the reality of the situation at hand.
Find Strength In The Support Of Others
A breakup is hard enough as it is. Still, if you are struggling with letting go – whether it’s a love relationship, friendship, or family member – then chances are you’re probably not in a great place emotionally and mentally. This can make things even harder for someone who may already feel like they have nowhere else to turn.
It’s normal to feel like you are the only one who could understand how you’re feeling, but oftentimes others have experienced the same thing and will be able to share their own stories and personal wisdom with you. This can be extremely helpful for someone going through a hard time in their life as it helps remind us that we are all connected, and no matter what we may be going through, there is always someone out there who has been through something similar and survived.
For me, my strength came from my family – especially my grandparents, as they had previously gone through a very similar situation with my dad when he decided to leave his first wife for another woman (she became my step-mother). Their story helped me realize that things sometimes happen for reasons that may never be known, but the important thing is to keep moving forward and not let those things bring you down. I leaned on my grandparents, and they helped me get through it with as few scars as possible.
Do Whatever It Takes To Help You Forget Your Pain
The human brain is an interesting thing. Sometimes it can do magical things (like creating entire worlds out of nothing at all). Other times, like in a situation of intense heartbreak or loss, it does whatever it needs to do to make us forget about what we feel so that we can get through one more day…one more hour…and sometimes even one more minute without falling apart completely. If you’ve ever sat around thinking about the “what-ifs” in your life or if you are constantly replaying the events that led up to your breakup over and over again, then chances are you’re trying desperately to forget about something.
The problem is that this usually only works for a little while before we find ourselves looking back at our old memories again and feeling our hearts break all over again…which brings me to my next point:
Know That It’s Okay For You To Feel This Pain
Society has conditioned us to believe that love conquers all and that any form of pain – whether physical or mental – should be hidden away from others so as not to burden anyone else with it. However, this does absolutely nothing to help us move forward with our lives and, in some cases, can actually prolong the grieving process for years or even decades without any sign of letting up.
If you are feeling hurt over a recent breakup, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s all completely normal. In fact, it’s okay to feel bad about things because when we hold on to negative emotions like sadness and anger, they typically end up doing more good (making us stronger) rather than harm (keeping us stuck and miserable).
Treat Yourself Like That Special Someone You Let Go Of
Whether it was a love relationship or just another friendship, most people have become so accustomed to considering that person as their “everything” that once they’ve left our lives, it can be hard for us to remember that we still have value as human beings ourselves. With this in mind, try to act like the person you wish had stayed with you and treat yourself like an incredibly kind, compassionate, and important person who deserves nothing but the best life has to offer.
We all deserve love – just as much as anyone else out there – so why not start giving it to yourself today? It doesn’t matter if no one is going to be there waiting for you at home when you get back from work or if your significant other decided that he/she couldn’t handle being with you anymore (which usually means that they weren’t worth your time anyway). Just because something didn’t work out between two people does NOT mean that something is wrong with either of you. Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be together even though they think that they are, and sometimes, things don’t work out for reasons we may never understand…but the most important thing here is that everyone still deserves to feel happy and loved about themselves, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
If this means spending more time by yourself rather than trying so hard to make other people happy, then do it! If this means going out on a couple of dates with other people to make yourself feel better (while keeping your guard up at all times), then do it! You deserve nothing but the best in life, so I encourage you to try new things and learn everything you can to make yourself happy.
Remember: Everyone Has A Story They Are Carrying With Them
We all have our own share of past pains and traumas that we live with every single day so when you’re sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, try to think of others who may be dealing with their own deep-rooted issues and pain…and then try to remember that they deserve just as much love, care, and compassion as you do and that things don’t always happen for a reason. Sometimes, the people we think will make us happiest also end up hurting us most because something lurking inside them causes them to do so. Regardless of what has happened to you in your life, remember this:
Every single person out there is struggling with something. Some may have it worse than others, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be happy. Know that everyone has their own story to tell and try not to judge them or prevent them from being able to share it with you if they choose to do so because, even when people make mistakes or do things we don’t like, at the end of the day, they are still human beings who deserve a chance in life as much as anyone else does.
Take Charge Of Your Own Life And Make Yourself Happy
I cannot stress this point enough! If you want something in life, then go after it! Even if that means losing those two hours you spend watching your favorite sitcoms on TV, doing something you love is the best feeling in the world. It doesn’t matter if it’s traveling, dancing, writing, drawing, painting…something! Just do what makes you happy! Take control of your life and remember that even though other people don’t make us who we are as human beings and their opinions shouldn’t matter to us any more than our own thoughts do (because when we stop listening to others, we stop giving them control over us), it still feels good to know that we have people out there in this world who are with us through thick and thin.
Love is a beautiful thing, and when we find it, we should do everything in our power to keep it. But sometimes, people aren’t right for us, and situations change over time…that’s just the reality of life. And this doesn’t mean that you are not worthy of love because you never will be if no one wants to give you some! You deserve all the happiness that there is in this world, so go out into the real world today and seek it out!
Always keep your guard up and trust only a few people but with those few, make sure they are worth it! Always have your own back; never let anyone take advantage of you or push you to do things you aren’t ready for and always try to be honest with yourself at all times to stay on the right path.
Find what makes you happy in life and go after it! Go out there today and live like nobody else is watching because one day, no matter what happens, this will all be over. We’re not promised tomorrow so learn how to live in the present moment as much as possible. Be happy, smile as much as possible, love others (even if they don’t deserve it), and spread kindness whenever you can.