Being emotionally available in a relationship can be hard. You want to show your partner how much you care and that you’re not afraid of being vulnerable, but it’s so easy to feel like hiding behind a wall instead. In this blog post, I share some things I’ve learned about what it means to be emotionally available and how it is possible to even when it feels tough.
Another important thing is to remember that just because you’re emotionally available doesn’t mean that your partner is or that being emotionally available should be the only thing you look for when picking a partner.
It’s also important to remember that learning how to be emotionally available in a relationship takes time. It isn’t something you can change about yourself overnight, and while sometimes there will be big leaps forward, but there are other times when things go backward. Learning how to be more emotionally available is just part of becoming an adult. Nothing comes easy all at once, and it’s important not to compare yourself with anyone else (including people who are supposed ‘naturally good’ at relationships).
Table of Contents
- 1 What does it mean to be Emotionally Available?
- 2 Signs of Emotional Availability
- 3 How To Be Emotionally Available In A Relationship?
- 4 What’s the benefit of being emotionally available?
- 5 How to Become More Emotionally Available?
- 6 How to Overcome Emotional Unavailability?
- 7 How to Be Emotionally Independent in a Relationship?
- 8 Conclusion
What does it mean to be Emotionally Available?
Being emotionally available means that you’re able to recognize, share and understand your feelings. Often this can be harder than it sounds because we live in a world where feelings are often regarded as ‘weak’ or ‘immature’. It’s also effortless to bury our feelings because of the idea that having a relationship is supposed to make us happy all the time, so if you’re feeling lonely or sad, it’s usually assumed there must be something wrong with you instead of looking at whether maybe there isn’t something wrong with the relationship (which would hardly ever be the case).
Signs of Emotional Availability
There are several signs that you can look out for to see if you’re emotionally available:
- You feel okay talking about your feelings and how things are going instead of pretending like everything is awesome all the time. You know there will be times where it isn’t awesome, but it’s still fine to talk about it.
- You don’t mind sharing what you think, believe, or feel (even if other people might not agree with you or your opinion). This doesn’t mean that you have to share everything, including every little thought, but generally speaking, if someone asks, then rather than feeling afraid of showing who you really are, you’d rather tell them (and also feel good doing so). Another sign is when it’s hard for others to surprise or shock you with what they say because you don’t feel like reacting in a way that isn’t very genuine.
- You can share your views, thoughts, and opinions on things without being afraid of how others might react to them or feeling bothered by the fact that it’s not exactly how other people think about things. This doesn’t mean that you won’t continue learning new ways of thinking, but rather than worrying about whether something is true, you’re more concerned with understanding why people believe certain things while also questioning if those beliefs are really true (instead of just believing everything some authority figure tells you).
- You know it’s okay to be yourself no matter what others think. It’s important to get outside feedback from time to time, so we can learn new things and get inspired, but rather than just accepting the thoughts of others because they’re ‘great’ people, you also question if their ways of being are really for you (because that’s what it means to be yourself not mimicking someone else).
- You can let go of pent-up emotions without judging them as ‘bad. Instead of suppressing or hiding your feelings, you’re more able to recognize and understand them. Sometimes that might mean feeling frustrated or angry, but instead of running away from those feelings, you’re okay with letting them come and going in their own time.
How To Be Emotionally Available In A Relationship?
Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling, and don’t try to rationalize your emotions away. Instead, listen to your emotions and explore them. The first step is always realizing that you have an emotion, after all.
Be honest with your partner about what you are feeling, even if it seems embarrassing or humiliating because there won’t be room for real connection without being honest. Honesty takes courage, but it makes everything so much easier in the long run.
Notice how your partner reacts when you’re open about a feeling and notice whether they seem to encourage or not encourage sharing feelings as well. This can help you determine which kind of person will work best with emotionally available for you (some people might respond better than others).
Don’t get caught up in analyzing exactly why something happened just yet – notice the feelings themselves first. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in analyzing why something happens instead of just noticing that you feel a particular way. It might be tempting, but it is important to have a balance between feeling and thinking.
Sometimes people aren’t emotionally available because they are struggling with their own emotions. If your partner isn’t able to accept or at least understand what you’re feeling, then there may be deeper emotional problems within them which can mean they need support from someone else (not necessarily you). You can also work together with your partner if they want this help too!
Last, remember that you can always go back to the basics and remember how being emotionally available helps us connect more deeply and appreciate each other even more!
What’s the benefit of being emotionally available?
The most obvious benefit is that it allows you to be honest and vulnerable with your partner instead of hiding how you really feel. Being honest helps create a feeling of safety for both partners because it prevents playing games and solves problems sooner than later. It also makes relationships a lot more exciting, meaningful, fun, and fulfilling. When both partners are emotionally available, there’s no room for manipulation, fear, or hiding things from each other, so problems get resolved faster before they cause bigger issues.
Moreover, sharing what you’re feeling with your partner will help them better understand what they mean to you because feelings can sometimes speak louder than words (or even actions). This, in turn, increases their ability to meet your needs and helps them become better partners in the long run.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship that is based on constant distance, distrust, or fear of communicating, then you know how hard it can be for both people. However, when you are emotionally available within such relationships and start expressing yourself more honestly with your partner, the dynamic will change dramatically for the better. The big benefits here include being able to be yourself around someone else without feeling judged truly (or worrying about being judged), connecting on a deeper level emotionally instead of just superficially, feeling safe from manipulation or abuse by your partner, having deeper understanding and empathy towards one another which eliminates unnecessary drama between you two, plus so much more! When you are available emotionally, you can connect with others at a much deeper level, increasing your ability to give and receive love.
You can improve your relationships by being emotionally available if you want them to work better. If we have an unmet need for emotional connection within ourselves, it affects everyone we contact – especially our partners. An essential element of emotional availability is being honest about feeling with the people around us. This allows us to feel accepted and loved even through difficult times (which is what every one of us needs). Being emotionally available helps our relationships feel like such hard work or duty because emotions act as a bridge between two people, making everything much easier and more fulfilling. When we’re emotionally available, we actually feel more secure within ourselves and better about the people around us.
Being emotionally available is a loyal partner to someone and increases your chances of staying together in the long run. When both partners can openly communicate their feelings without fear of judgment or manipulation by each other, they develop a much deeper understanding and empathy towards one another which makes them want to stay together (or work harder if they already aren’t) because the relationship feels like more than just a duty or responsibility – it just feels right!
How to Become More Emotionally Available?
There are a lot of things you can do if you want to become more emotionally available. The first and most important thing is to remember how good it feels to share your emotions with someone else or be open about the fact that you’re struggling right now. It takes courage, but it really does make life so much better in the long run, even though sharing your feelings can sometimes feel scary at first.
After all, everyone has feelings (even if we don’t always acknowledge them), so there’s nothing wrong with having them!
Other ways include writing (or talking into) a journal, meditation, and seeing a therapist for some professional help. It’s also helpful to talk about this topic with friends who seem understanding and accepting of feelings.
Ultimately, the best way to learn how to be emotionally available is just by practicing with yourself and others!
If you find yourself in a relationship with a person who struggles with emotional unavailability, then I hope that this article has helped you better understand how to deal with this. Emotional availability is an important part of relationships but one of the hardest things to teach for sure, so it’s okay if you still need help!
Keep in mind that people can change (especially when they want to, and therapy or support can really make all the difference). You might be able to get your partner ‘unstuck’ by being supportive without trying to solve their problems for them. It’s also important not to take on too much yourself since sometimes, if we are taking care of someone else too much, we forget about ourselves.
You can also practice being more emotionally available by talking about your feelings with a friend, writing in a journal, or meditating. The important thing is to actively try to get better and not become stuck in the same negative patterns of relating repeatedly!
One last tip that I want you to remember is that sometimes people aren’t emotionally available because they struggle with their own emotions. If your partner isn’t able to accept or at least understand what you’re feeling, then there may be deeper emotional problems within them which can mean they need support from someone else (not necessarily you). You can also work together with your partner if they want this help too!
How to Be Emotionally Independent in a Relationship?
Being emotionally independent is an important part of being healthy and happy within yourself. It can be tough to feel like you can truly be yourself when you’re involved with someone who reminds you that they need you or are constantly trying to get your attention.
One way to become more emotionally independent is by understanding what inner security is (you can read my article about this here ). Then start thinking outside of the box – just because someone loves you or needs something from you doesn’t mean that it has to come at a cost for your own sense of self! You deserve love too!!
Many of these situations happen because we think in terms of “I” instead of “we”. We feel personally responsible for everything in our lives, even if it is not really a reflection of who we are or what we want! This is the main reason why it’s so important to become more emotionally independent, which is hard because most people don’t have good role models for how to do this. Either their parents were absent, or they’re not used to thinking about themselves first (after all, the majority of our culture isn’t either).
However, you can start by just being honest with yourself and asking, “what am I doing in this relationship?” You might only be used to relying on others and never letting them rely on you – but if you take that step outside your comfort zone (which will feel scary at first), then you’ll start making space for new feelings to come in, which is a really positive thing for sure.
Remember that you don’t have to change who you are, but if this relationship isn’t good for your sense of self, why stay? It may be okay to lose someone’s friendship or love if it helps you see how unhealthy your relationship with them was! People can only give you what they have, and while our culture might tell us otherwise, there is no one-size-fits-all connection. You deserve the kind of support and friendship that makes YOU feel happy – other people should not need to do things “for” you just because they like doing that. People should want to help make YOU happy – not ‘you’ helping ‘them’. This way of thinking is exactly how most people get in their own way of the relationships that they want.
If you want to be emotionally independent in a relationship, remember that your love for someone isn’t dependent on their actions (or inaction). As long as they are not directly harming you, there is no reason to cut them out of your life. However, it is also okay to take some space when you need time to think about things or be by yourself.
I hope you enjoyed this article! Thank you for taking the time to read it, and please feel free to leave a comment if you have any thoughts or something to share.